For Ten Years, You Couldn't Actually Date The Sims 4's Grim Reaper. Now You Can.
A Sim dies, a cloud of smoke rolls in, and the Grim Reaper shows up to finish the job. Most players quit the interaction menu right there. A smaller, more persistent group has spent a decade doing something else entirely: flirting with him, filling up a romance bar, and hitting a wall that Kotaku wrote an entire article about back in 2015 — the meter filled completely, the flirting worked, and the game still refused to let anyone actually be with him without editing his character through cheats first.
That wall is gone now. Life & Death, released in October 2024, quietly rebuilt the entire Grim Reaper relationship system from the ground up, and what used to require stripping his Reaper trait through testing cheats is, for the first time in the franchise's Sims 4 era, just a normal in-game option.
Why This Was Basically Impossible For A Decade
The core problem was never the flirting itself — Sims could always talk to, befriend, and flirt with Grim during the brief window before he vanished after a death. The friendship and romance bars filled exactly like they would with any other Sim. The issue was what happened after: even at a completely full romance meter, WooHoo and marriage simply weren't on the interaction list. Grim's own Reaper trait blocked those options at the code level, and the only documented workaround was adding him to the household through testingcheats and manually removing the trait in Create-A-Sim — a real, working method, but one that required leaving normal gameplay entirely to pull off.
What Life & Death Actually Changed
The expansion added an entire structure around Grim that didn't exist before. New interactions for pleading, challenging, and befriending him mean he sticks around noticeably longer after a death than he used to, instead of vanishing almost immediately. More importantly, WooHoo with the Grim Reaper is now available as a default, no-cheat option, and — if the Life & Death expansion is installed — having his baby is possible too. A decade-old joke goal for a specific type of Sims player quietly became actual, intended gameplay.
The pack also added two entirely new avenues for getting close to him beyond waiting around for a death to happen naturally. Completing the first week of the Reaper's Rewards event unlocks the Grimophone, a Build Mode object that lets players summon him directly rather than waiting for a Sim to die. Separately, the Reaper career — also added with Life & Death — puts a Sim to work at the Netherworld Department of Death, giving them regular, built-in access to him as a coworker rather than an occasional visitor.
The Part Almost Nobody Mentions: He Has Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs
Here's where this connects to a completely different system most players wouldn't think to check. Since Lovestruck's attraction overhaul, every Sim — Grim included — carries randomized Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs that affect how romance actually lands. If your Sim happens to embody one of his Turn-Offs, flirting genuinely doesn't work well no matter how persistent you are, which is the real explanation behind a lot of "I filled the bar and he still wasn't interested" reports that predate people realizing the attraction system applied to him at all. Because his preferences are randomized per save, there's no universal trick that works for every player — what wins him over in one game world can be exactly what turns him off in another.
Players who've hit that wall have found one workaround: adding Grim to the household with cas.fulleditmode after summoning him, then opening his Create-A-Sim preferences to directly edit which traits and physical features he's attracted to. It's the same testingcheats-and-CAS combination the old marriage workaround used, just repurposed for the attraction layer instead of removing his Reaper trait entirely.
The Achievement Tied To All Of This
Successfully befriending Grim isn't just a personal milestone — it unlocks Hello, Darkness, My Old Chum, a dedicated in-game achievement. Once he's on your Sim's relationship tab as a friend, you can keep the connection going between his brief visits, too — the relationship can be maintained through phone calls and computer messages, the same tools used to stay in touch with any other Sim, rather than needing him to physically reappear every time.
What You Actually Need To Summon Him
If you're aiming for any of this, there are now several distinct ways to get Grim on the lot instead of the old wait-for-a-death-and-hope method:
A Sim's death. The original, still-functional method — Grim appears the moment any Sim on the lot dies, whether from old age, an accident, or something more elaborate.
The Grimophone. Unlocked through completing the first week of the Reaper's Rewards event, this Build Mode object summons him on demand without needing a death first.
The Reaper career. Working at the Netherworld Department of Death with Life & Death installed puts your Sim in regular contact with him as part of the job.
Pleading or challenging interactions. New with Life & Death, these give you more to actually do with him during the window he's present, beyond straightforward small talk.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you actually WooHoo with the Grim Reaper without cheats now?
Yes. Since the Life & Death expansion, WooHoo with the Grim Reaper is available as a default option — something that previously required using cheats to remove his Reaper trait entirely.
Why does flirting with the Grim Reaper sometimes not work at all?
Since Lovestruck introduced Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs, the Grim Reaper has his own randomized preferences like any other Sim, and a mismatch between his preferences and your Sim can make romantic interactions land poorly regardless of persistence.
What's the easiest way to summon the Grim Reaper without waiting for a death?
The Grimophone, a Build Mode object unlocked by completing the first week of the Reaper's Rewards event, lets players summon him directly rather than relying on a Sim dying first.
Is there an achievement for befriending the Grim Reaper?
Yes. Successfully befriending him unlocks the Hello, Darkness, My Old Chum achievement, and once he's on the relationship tab, the friendship can be maintained through phone and computer contact between visits.
Sources
Mechanic details reflect the Grim Reaper relationship system as updated by the Life & Death expansion and its accompanying Reaper's Rewards event; specific interaction availability may vary slightly depending on installed packs.